The Naughty Whisper: How Feeling Like a Bad Child Can Linger

Dec 7, 2025
2 min read

I’m fifty-nine years old, a board-certified eye surgeon, father of four, grandfather of three, and I still sometimes feel like a naughty child who’s about to get caught. Chris Williamson, host of the Modern Wisdom podcast, said the same thing a few weeks ago while interviewing author Mel Robbins. He described a vague, child-like guilt that shadows his success—like he’s doing something wrong simply by taking up space, by winning, by daring to be seen. Robbins nodded. She hears it from CEOs, Olympians, and stay-at-home moms alike. The voice whispers: “Who do you think you are?” That whisper is nothing more than a faulty program from your childhood..

Where the Whisper Comes From

It started at age three for me. I was living like a little prince in my grandmother’s house in Tehran, Iran, free to be loud, curious, alive. Then my parents, who had been abroad since my birth, returned and took me back from grandmother. Love became conditional. The message was clear: Be who they need, or love disappears. The whisper was born: “If you’re too real, you’ll be abandoned.” I internalized that message, and then everything and everyone I encountered seem to reinforce it. I became a quiet, obedient child, learning to ask for permission and forgiveness simultaneously, making myself small to disappear. Obedience = safety. Disobedience = sin.

Prometheus Was Not a Sinner

Erich Fromm, in To Have or to Be?, retells the myth of Prometheus. He steals fire from the gods and gives it to humans. Zeus chains him to a rock and sends an eagle to eat his liver every day. Was Prometheus a sinner? Fromm says no. He was disobedient, yes. But his act was pure productive love—he wanted humans to become more, not to possess more. Fromm's message is that disobedience is not always coupled to sin - they are two different things. And if obedience is your primary ethic, then becoming all that you were put here to be is iimpossible.

The Whisper Today

Every time you:

Say no to a request that doesn't serve you
Speak your mind
Protect a righteous personal boundary
Take time to do something that brings your joy

…the whisper pipes up: “Who do you think you are? Good children don’t do that.”

It feels naughty because it is naughty— to the old gods of approval and safety.

The Cure – Rebel Like Prometheus

Name the whisper Out loud: “This is the obedience tape from age three.”
Steal one fire today One small disobedience that serves becoming:
- “I’m at capacity.”
- “I’m writing the book this week.”
- “I’m taking the boat out instead of taking the extra shift.”
Celebrate the eagle The backlash will come—disapproval, guilt, fear. Expect it. Welcome it. Prometheus smiled while the eagle ate his liver. You can smile through a raised eyebrow.

Closing

The naughty whisper is the cave calling you back. The real home is on the rock, fire in your hands, becoming who you were born to be. Sin isn’t disobedience. Sin is staying in the cave.

Steal the fire. The gods will forgive you. (They were never the ones holding the chains anyway.)